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An American Rebel in London

February 11, 2006 09:52 AM

George Clooney reveals his newest screenplay to the Guardian of London:

INT: SUMPTUOUS MALIBU MANSION -- NIGHT

Cocktail party at the home of a very wealthy and powerful industrialist. The finest of everything: LOUIS XVI would not feel out-of-place here. WE CAN HEAR the buzz of noisy conversation, punctuated by sudden bursts of galing laughter. Men clad in tuxedos stand in small clusters about the room, smoking long cigars and chatting amiably. Gorgeous, kittenish women in extravagant floor-length evening gowns weave among the guests, stopping here and there for air-kisses with old acquaintances. White-gloved waiters deliver trays of hors d'oevres and flutes of champagne. OUR ATTENTION IS DRAWN to a photograph, perched prominently on a lamp table, that shows GEORGE W. BUSH shaking hands with a MAN IN A TUXEDO who is presumably this party's host. CAMERA PANS UP from the photo to reveal CLOONEY, surrounded by a knot of inquisitors.

CLOONEY (V.O.)

I was at a party the other night and it was all these hardcore Republicans and these guys are like...

FAT CAT #1

C'mon big Hollywood star, Why do you hate your country?

CLOONEY (WITH SMIRK)

I love my country.

The inquisitors erupt with laughter. WE CAN HEAR scattered mutterings such as "Oh, come on, Clooney" and "Let's be serious here."

FAT CAT #2 (BREAKING IN)

Why, at a time of war, would you criticise it then?

The smirk disappears. Suddenly, CLOONEY looks deadly serious. He wheels to address FAT CAT #2 directly, his eyes flashing rage.

CLOONEY (POINTING AT MAN)

My country right or wrong means women don't vote, black people sit in the back of buses and we're still in Vietnam. My country right or wrong means we don't have the New Deal.

FAT CAT #2, feeling uncomfortable now, looks down at the floor.

CLOONEY (CONT.)

I mean, what, are you crazy? My country, right or wrong? It's not your right, it's your duty. Where was I wrong, schmuck?

A GASP rises from the group. The lecture begins drawing the attention of other guests, who step closer or crane their necks to hear.

CLOONEY (WITH PASSION)

In 2003 I was saying, where are the ties between Iraq and al-Qaida? Where are the ties to 9/11? I knew it. Where the fuck were these Democrats who said, 'We were misled'? That's the kind of thing that drives me crazy: 'We were misled.' Fuck you, you weren't misled. You were afraid of being called unpatriotic.

Silence falls over the group, but only for a moment. As the din of conversation begins to build again in the room, WE CAN HEAR affirmative murmurs, along with phrases such as "He's right, you know," and "It makes sense when he says it," and "If only we had listened."

CUT TO:

EXT: STREETS OF MALIBU -- NIGHT

Still wearing his tux, Clooney roars off into the darkness aboard his Harley, a beautiful gal (CLEARLY REPUBLICAN - luxuriant red hair; fur stoll; diamond earrings) draped over his shoulders. Neither is wearing a helmet....

American Politics | Humor | News Media | War on Terror

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